To sit or to die?

It all started so well. The bus driver didn't have any sleeves for my weekly pass, so he let me on for free. I had a full loyalty card, so my coffee was free. There were more people than usual walking around this morning, and everyone was very cheerful. Complete strangers were smiling and saying hello, forming a happy little community of early risers braving the cold. And then there was the train.

I was 15 minutes early, so I was first on the platform. The trains didn't run at all last week and when it rocked up today, it only had two carriages. Somehow, I got jostled out of the way and because I was in such a good mood from the journey in, I didn't jostle back. So, I was left with the decision of taking a jumpseat in the unheated bit between carriages or standing in the aisle in the relative warmth. I had visions of my blue hand outstretched, frozen for eternity, season pass open for inspection. Now here I stand, swaying with the motion of the train, my backside jammed into a guy who was lucky enough to get a seat (but unlucky to get the one where my ass is), while the conductor inexplicably tries to shimmy past all of us in the aisle every 46 seconds to check tickets.

Next time, I think I'll risk frostbite.

Blizzardy goodness

Earlier in the year, I learned my lesson about trying to commute in the snow: If the buses aren't running, go back to bed. I had several days where I battled to walk 3 miles along roads that hadn't been gritted only to find that the trains were canceled.

So this time, when we were doused with the largest snowfall in our area's recorded history (about 18 inches, much to the amusement of my Canadian friends), I just made arrangements to conduct everything via the web, including lectures.

Train Buddy, on the other hand, took the snow as an epic challenge. I last heard from him two days ago as he was battling his way across the Penines, probably pushing the train himself. Good for you, my friend. Now where did I set that mug of cocoa?

Or your money back

I filled in 4 claim forms for delayed and cancelled trains. I got 4 identical letters stating that the trains had not been delayed by more than 2 hours. Apparently, East Midlands Trains operates outside the normal space-time continuum. They sent me 4 vouchers at £9 each for future journeys. Oh good. So next year when my season pass expires, I can pay for 75% of another late-running service.

The train is late due to.

Was hoping to be snowed in today, but no such luck. I dragged myself down to the station despite being ill, only to find that the train was delayed. The announcement lady kept saying, "We apologise for the delay to this service, which is due to." Even the robotic voice has given up trying to explain.

The estimated delay time kept increasing by 2-3 minutes until the train eventually rocked up (with only two carriages) 23 minutes late. There was a last-minute platform change, causing Train Buddy and I to go running up and down several flights of stairs and collapsing into the last two available seats just before the doors closed. Nothing like getting to the station 15 minutes early and then having to run for the train 40 minutes later.

Unfortunately for us, the last two seats were in the refrigerator compartment. Er, I mean the jumpseats in the unheated bit between the two carriages. They do have the added bonus of being about 2 feet from the honking loo.

We asked the conductor why the train was delayed, and he said it was because the train was supposed to be 4 carriages, but the brakes on the last two got stuck and they had to be removed. Awesome.

Back to the grind. And the gross.

I'm very fortunate that although I have a crazy commute, I am also able to work from home when the students are away, so for two glorious weeks in December, my alarm did not ring at 5:30.

I had to travel during the unexpectedly heavy snows. There were people slipping over on the icy, glasslike pavements and busses stopped running. But the trains kept running. I can't figure this out, because they are unpredictable during good weather and frequently late or cancelled due to adverse weather. My personal favourites are leaves on the track and rain. It is England, after all. However, 3 feet of snow was not a problem, and I was grateful.

I travelled to the US last week and was thwarted from reaching the airport for my return journey by a freak outbreak of sinkholes opening in the roads, but otherwise the trip was fantastic. I returned relaxed and feeling quite productive, only to be slapped in the face by the horrible reality of public transportation. Nothing quite says, "Welcome home!" Iike a mentally disturbed person drumming agitatedly on all surfaces of the train and loudly hawking up lughies and spitting them into fast food wrappers.

My first journey back into work was met with a sort of ying and yang harmony. The bus was broken down at my stop and I was nearly late. However, the replacement bus driver was a smouldering Brad Pitt lookalike with dark hair. Good morning. The train was abysmally late and platform changes sent me running up and down several flights of stairs at breakneck speed. But when it arrived, there were 5 carriages. 5!

This morning, missing bus and no Brad Pitt. I did get a coffee, but was put off drinking it by a woman(!) hacking the contents of her lungs and sinuses onto the platform. She was chattering loudly in Mandarin into her mobile while doing it, so I can only hope that it was a culturally acceptable thing to her. Otherwise, she and crazy dude may be the harbingers of a new phlegm trend. If that's the case, I'm moving.
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Snow Surprising

After a blissful 3 weeks of working from home, it's time to return to work. The landscape is covered with a glorious blanket of white and all is silent. Oh, wait. It's because there are 2 inches of snow on the ground and the city has ground to a halt. There are no buses, and I'm getting text alerts that the trains are delayed. I'm supposed to fly internationally in two days and the airports are closed. 

I wouldn't mind if these "freak snowstorms" were a freaky occurrence, but they occur several times over the winter. Every year.Why can't we seem to cope when the rest of Europe plugs along quite happily all year?  Snow chains, all-weather tyres and some preparation on the behalf of public transport and councils: it's not a big ask.