Business as usual

Stupid pointless day, followed by one cancelled train and a delayed one with no announcement. At the moment, it's looking like I'll be delayed by an hour and 20 minutes, not counting any knock-on effects for catching the night bus. I think East Midlands should also compensate me for the additional 30 minutes I'll have to spend dealing with the reimbursement claim tomorrow.

Soap and water

Another train etiquette pointer, and stop me if you've heard this one: wash your balls. If I can smell the stank from 4 rows away and it's 8am, you need a reminder.

It's also getting to be that time of year where we all start dragging out our coats and scarves. Yes, I know it's still technically August, but it is downright chilly. Do us all a favour and give them a wash. When the train is warm and crowded, it reduces the amount of funk in the air. Thanks in advance.

Really sad

It is really, really hot in here. The train has been stuck in a tunnel for over 40 minutes now, and the conductor has a very faint grasp of the English language. Despite two announcements, we are none the wiser since we can't understand a damn word over the tannoy. There is no signal, so this post will appear when the train emerges from the blackness.

From the other end of the carriage has been an incessant barrage of drunken noise. The offenders have just staggered down the aisle. Guess who? Two of the 3 cider drinkers from this morning. They haven't stopped drinking in the interim, by the look of it. No sign of the kid (who was apparently a boy, but just bedecked with a long ponytail in a purple elastic). Perhaps somebody else took pity on him and stole him. I bottled it at the last minute. May the little guy have been snagged by a benevolent rescuer.

Sad

I am trapped at a table with three young men who are drinking 500ml cans of cider at 10am. They are having discussions about friends named Teabag, Pookie, and Shots. They are loud and annoying, but that's not what I find uncomfortable about the situation.

They have a beautiful little girl of about 3 years old with them. She is sucking back Tic Tacs and Lucozade as fast as they are sucking back the booze. What should be a lovely smile is marred by a mouthful of brown teeth, complete with hypoplasia and the characteristic tooth shape of a kid who probably still has a pacifier. Wonder if they'll notice if I snatch her up and run. Maybe after a couple more cans, I'll get my chance...

Helpful as always

Today East Midlands Trains has really outdone themselves. I'm travelling for the sad occasion of visiting a friend receiving palliative care. What should be a time for quiet contemplation has now turned into a clusterfuck typical of EMT.

The train was delayed over the Pennines with no explanation, causing a missed connection. The app on my phone showed two other trains departing shortly thereafter that would get me to my destination, but there were no departures boards on the platform. I ran to the lobby to check the board, only to find that the two trains weren't even listed. The guy at the ticket desk tried to speak to me as though I was unable to read a timetable, and denied that the changeover on the Internet didn't match the one in reality. Thankfully, a woman with two kids behind me in the queue piped up that she had the same problem. He decided to be more helpful after that.

I'm en route now, with a total of 3 changes and nearly 40 minutes delay. Thank goodness I was prepared for such an inevitability. I made sure to leave 2 hours before I needed to just so I wouldn't miss visiting hours if the train was late.

Now I'm annoyed and flustered from all of the hustling between platforms and the lobby to get information. Maybe I should thank them for the distraction. Or not.

Some days this sounds like a great idea

This was recently linked by a friend. Believe me, I don't subscribe to bridal blogs [shudder], but the pink sparkly in a can sounded worth a try. Mildly classier than the dude with the cans of Strongbow, perhaps? If I see this, I might round out my poseur commuter cuisine with some M&S sushi.

A little train love

Ok - normally I bitch about train services. Today is different. Things haven't been smooth, but were definitely not as unpleasant as usual because train staff have been uncharacteristically nice today.

I travelled to London yesterday morning, and discovered that the contracted travel agent for our university had messed up big time and I didn't have a ticket. It was sorted with minutes and I picked it up from the machine. This morning, some poor unfortunate selfish asshole threw his/herself under a train and delayed the Piccadilly line by about an hour, but the train driver was very pleasant and nobody crammed into the tube smelled or was obnoxious.

Then tonight, I ran for the train with bruised feet and a broken heel on my shoe- the barrier guy thought it was so funny that he just let me through. I was an hour into my return journey when the train manager looked at my ticket only to discover that the travel agent had again screwed up and my ticket was actualy valid for the day before.

I showed him my email conversations with the travel agent and he recognized that the guy had made a mistake and very pleasantly let me continue my journey. He could have been a jerk, but he was lovely and I appreciate it.

So, thank you to the train manager and the tube driver who didn't suck.