Gotta lotta baggage

Today was the comfort test for my new pair of rather saucy ankle boots with a heel height that made me seriously contemplate their practicality. In the end I decided to throw caution to the wind and just buy a pair of shoes because I liked them, for once. My feet survived the various cobbled and hilly trips between buildings and stations. They held up pretty well pounding up and down stairs and concrete halls all afternoon while I gathered specimens for my labs tomorrow. However, they began to cry for mercy this evening after traversing the cobbles again to find my platform had been changed to the other end of the station and I had to sprint to make it.

The train is hot and rammed. There are no seats and the vestibules are stuffed with people standing. It's nearly an hour before the next major station where I might be able to slip into a vacated seat before the influx of new people get on. Unable to bear the thought of swaying back and forth on tender toes until then, I have created my own seat in the luggage rack (flatcap and backpack in photo for scale). It's not wide enough for my laptop, or even my shoulders unless I angle them, but my butt is in here and that makes my feet very happy indeed.

Freakin' me out, man

The guy across the table from me is behaving very oddly. No, not the one all in black with biker beard and tattoos -the guy dressed in a decent suit and well-groomed. Why? He doesn't appear to have just made a court appearance or anything. He just keeps audibly sighing in a frustrated manner, shaking his head and bouncing his legs up and down. At first, I thought he was angry at neighboring loud conversation guy, but that stopped. He keeps nodding off and then waking up very agitated.

Now he's blasting "Insane in the Membrane" while seemingly asleep to the point where his head is lolling and his jaw is making involuntary motions, but all the while his leg is still bouncing. I'm kind of waiting for him to just jump up and go postal.

Train travel can be seriously frustrating, but this guy looks unhinged.

Traveling douchebag

After 30 minutes, this lovely character has managed to systematically violate almost every statute of the train traveller's etiquette:

Feet on the seat: check. (shot me a dirty look when I said, "Excuse me" so I could sit down)

Blockading empty seat with luggage: check. (made no effort to remove it even when the train was packed to standing. Why nobody asked her to move it is beyond me.When the train departed, she waited a few minutes and then put her suitcase up above to guarantee her own space).

Loud mobile phone conversation: Check! (on the "jewel"-encrusted mobile - as if that doesn't qualify one for douche status on it's own).

Foot space hogging: check. (Kick me one more time, I dare you.)

Table space commandeering: check. (and then is feigning sleep so nobody disturbs her to ask her to move).

I think the only things left are bodily functions/grooming or bad smells. Judging by her accent we are probably bound for the same place, so there are another 90 minutes left for her to try.

Double the Pleasure

Somehow, I've had the pleasure of sitting with the office workers from hell (OWFH) *twice* today. They have featured in the blog before. This morning, there was some sort of emergency call coming out of the driver's cabin requesting assistance for a seriously ill driver impacting the route. We couldn't tell whether it was regarding our driver/line or not, because OWFH wouldnt shut the hell up long enough to hear what was being said. Apparently, this potentially grave situation was not as important as them prattling on about women they knew who had been pregnant and their maternity leave. I've personally heard them have this exact conversation at least 4 times in the past, so it wasn't exactly compelling. Luckily, Train Buddy was there to point out interesting stories in the Metro during our brief delay. Apparently it wasn't our driver, but hopefully whoever it was is alright.

This evening, they've spent 40 minutes being horrible about some woman that they work with who is constantly miserable. I bet the poor thing is miserable because of these vapid, cruel women. I'm wedged in next to Strongbow Guy and am seriously considering asking for a swig of his cider just to make this less painful. Oh wait. He's downed both cans already.

Business as usual

Stupid pointless day, followed by one cancelled train and a delayed one with no announcement. At the moment, it's looking like I'll be delayed by an hour and 20 minutes, not counting any knock-on effects for catching the night bus. I think East Midlands should also compensate me for the additional 30 minutes I'll have to spend dealing with the reimbursement claim tomorrow.

Soap and water

Another train etiquette pointer, and stop me if you've heard this one: wash your balls. If I can smell the stank from 4 rows away and it's 8am, you need a reminder.

It's also getting to be that time of year where we all start dragging out our coats and scarves. Yes, I know it's still technically August, but it is downright chilly. Do us all a favour and give them a wash. When the train is warm and crowded, it reduces the amount of funk in the air. Thanks in advance.

Really sad

It is really, really hot in here. The train has been stuck in a tunnel for over 40 minutes now, and the conductor has a very faint grasp of the English language. Despite two announcements, we are none the wiser since we can't understand a damn word over the tannoy. There is no signal, so this post will appear when the train emerges from the blackness.

From the other end of the carriage has been an incessant barrage of drunken noise. The offenders have just staggered down the aisle. Guess who? Two of the 3 cider drinkers from this morning. They haven't stopped drinking in the interim, by the look of it. No sign of the kid (who was apparently a boy, but just bedecked with a long ponytail in a purple elastic). Perhaps somebody else took pity on him and stole him. I bottled it at the last minute. May the little guy have been snagged by a benevolent rescuer.