The train guys are bored...

Almost every day this week, the train has flashed up that it's late and then arrives on time causing panic. Train Buddy sends this report:

Yesterday was the usual giggle fest down on the farm/station. Arrive at 0610, train "delayed" till 0638. Then out of the blue, at 0612, came the "this train is ready to depart". You couldn't make up that level of panic. Metro's were abandoned, partially eaten muffins dropped, and staccatto swearing bulleted the air. Herd mentality spread like wildfire; 1st one then another passenger broke into a trot, then a canter, then a full-on undignified blethering knees-up, liberally sloshing hot coffee over crotches, swearing took on an air of pained desperation. We streamed up the stairs, over the walkway, down onto the platform and hurled ourselves at the train, wildly swinging elbows. A few missed the doors.

And then, as fast as it began, it was over. The train left quietly at the normal time, 5mins later, with the more rotund amongst us wondering if a coronary bypass came with the trolley service. East Midland Trains; "We're so punctual, we make even earlybirds crap their pants".