A pair of douchebags

I should always trust my first instinct. A little voice told me to sit somewhere else, but I coveted the table space on a busy train so I could get a couple of hours in on a project with a deadline. There is a couple at my table who both need a punch.

The first clue should have been the fact that the guy is sucking on the girl's neck while calling her "mate". Whenever he is bored, which appears to be approximately every 40 seconds or so, he begins belting out the opening lines to The Lion King (you know the one... Laaaa helayla or something) in Scouse. His "mate" is popping her gum and giggling.

They had a war of blowing raspberries at each other and trying to steal each others' gum. He is wearing a button up shirt, waistcoat, and tie while complaining how hot he is. They have knocked into my feet and my computer at least 12 times.

Thank goodness they've left the train after only 26 minutes. Another 5 and there would have been sailors blushing at my response.