Thursday, 10 February 2011

Morning awesomeness

I have just witnessed something awesome. An extraordinarily inebriated Scouser just got on the train (it's 9am). He was making a fuss, talking incomprehensible and loud bollocks. It was disturbing enough that people were actually looking around. This is England. If somebody took a dump in the aisle, they would ignore it so as not to make a fuss. So, if people were acknowledging the behaviour, you know it was pretty disruptive. The conductor did his best to calm the guy, but to no avail.

He then staggered down the aisle with his open bottle of Cobra and proceeded to sit on the guy sitting at the table opposite me. No idea why, just chose a rather well-built chap and sat on him.

Well-built chap authoritatively told Drunky not to sit on him. When he didn't listen, well-built chap popped him into an arm lock behind his back, walked him into the vestibule, and pushed him up against the door and had a word. Conductor went to sort it out, but drunky was suddenly calm. He even came over and managed a sort of garbled apology to the other guy at the table. Yeehaw. That dude deserves a merit badge. Drunky now has a welcoming committee of cops awaiting him at our final destination.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Another nutter

There is another academic who has joined Train Buddy and me in the ranks of the daily long haul commuter. He used to sleep in our work city during the week. For some incomprehensible reason (lovely family, I think), he has decided to do the daily slog too. Until I come up with something better, he will be called Train Buddy v 2.0 (TB2). Train Buddy the 1st has been taking the insanely early train for a while now, eschewing sleep for a peaceful journey. I simultaneously admire him for this and think he's mental.

Yesterday, TB2 and I were comparing notes about fellow passengers. Turns out he also has been perpetually annoyed by the catty management-speak group and the bulldog retail rep. I think they will each merit an entry soon.

In the meantime, welcome TB2!