Here's a quick roundup of some of my recent favorites:
The post office faces a more pressing problem than budget cuts. Dunt dun duuun. OLD PEOPLE. They keep crashing their cars into post offices throughout the state.
A schoolteacher tried to hire a hitman to kill another teacher who barely knew him.
A crazed pet monkey bites some guy on the leg and is put on house arrest.
A serial pooper in Port St Lucie.
It's so weird here that even the local paper has a section devoted to the bizarre shit that occurs here. And I thought commuters were odd...