Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Train etiquette

It's totally acceptable to sleep on the train. As a matter of fact, I'm terribly jealous. However, sleepers should choose the polite option and sit by the window. This prevents the non-sleepers from being forced into unpleasant circumstances because we are trapped in our seats.

To illustrate this point, I'll let you have a peek into my inner monologue (don't be afraid) while being blockaded by a rather large man throwing a lot of body heat.

[Do I try to maneuver around your gargantuan mass to access my backpack overhead without bumping you, or try to find some other project that doesn't require the files located there? I've been up all night working, which means lots of coffee. Now I need to pee and there are 90 minutes left on this journey. How long shall I attempt to be polite and not wake you before I risk kidney damage? Oh damn. I've gotten up, and in the 2.5 minutes since I left, you've fallen back to sleep. Now I'm going to have to wake your hulking ass again to get back in my chair. Don't look so annoyed. If you'd have sat by the frigging window in the first place, I wouldn't be having this silent conversation with you and you'd still be snoring and drooling onto your tie].

What I actually said was more along the lines of, "Sorry" or "Excuse me" about five times. But we all know what it really meant.

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