Over the loudspeaker: "We are sorry to inform you that the toilets on
this service are out of order". Cue group of little old ladies giggling.
"The next available toilets will be in one hour's time". Travelling
grannies no longer giggling.
"Should you need to avail yourself of the platform facilities, please
make yourself known to the conductor and we will delay departure for
you". Travelling grannies now looking completely mortified.
"We apologise for inconvenience". Travelling Granny: "They'll be
apologising for incontinence in an hour." Cue group of little old
ladies giggling again.