Decades later

I am just pondering why, after approximately 15 years of mobile phones
being de rigeur, some people still insist on yelling into them.

Do they think this will help the other person hear them better? Do
they think everyone else is secretly so interested in their daily
minutiae that we want them to speak up? I propose a new theory: it is
simply the inevitable fallout from the ipodiots. They are deaf from
listening to their little white earbuds at full volume that they don't
know they are shouting into the phone.