Wednesday, 22 September 2010

A man in my lap

My personal space has been so violated this morning. A man got on the train at one of the stops where it actually begins to empty out and wedged himself into the window seat next to me at the table of four that was otherwise empty.

He was rather wide and proceeded to turn himself diagonally in his seat to look out his window. Half his ass was in my lap and he kept bumping into my computer. He turned to me with what appeared to be four mouthfuls of battered fish (at 8am) hanging out of his mouth and said rather aggressively, "novevif go wipoo?". Between the Chinese accent and the pieces of food flying from his gob, it took me a minute to mentally process what he was saying. Doves whiff of poo? Guvs vits whirlpool? I finally managed to decipher the syllables. Does this go to Liverpool? Yes, but I'll be arriving there in the other carriage.

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