Special guest post

This morning we have a special guest post courtesy of Train Buddy. After two years of begging him to share his humorous musings on our often unfunny journeys, he has finally relented and decided to share them with everyone else. This is his take on the very same journey that I posted on earlier, but from another squished seat farther down the carriage. Enjoy! 

I really dislike EMT, and especcially this journey time. Those were pure weasel words. 
We apologise for late running of this service...due to being behind a stopping service. 
We apologise for crowding...due to unit failure.
It should've been: 
"We apologise for slapping the same BUSTED-ASS unit into service, and being completely bowled over by its unexpected internal COMBUSTION. We apologise that being forced to use the remaining working carriages (half that required) has resulted in PEOPLE PATE. That this might delay the FREE FLOW of people was beyond our comprehension. We apologise that far from being a RANDOM occurance, our general INEPTITUDE has delayed our progress such that we fell behind the slower STOPPING train and we are now free to be even LATER."